Comments on: Chapter One: Sullen Skies — Part 1

By: Rachele

Rachele — Wed, 30 Jul 2008 11:11:40 +0000

This has got me hungry for chapter 2!!!!

By: David

David — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 23:55:34 +0000

Awesome story.

By: rajan

rajan — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 14:12:49 +0000

Hi’
Reminds me of Beckett, Samuel.
Hope you have read END GAME and such stuff.
Keep going.
Good write.
Be optimistic.
Even if the world is destroyed, you’ll be there as an ethereal presence.
Love,
Rajan.

By: Gudy

Gudy — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 21:21:25 +0000

OK, this starts the Great Dark Matters Typo Hunt of 2008:

“Her entire body pulses with what feel like a hundred tiny orgasms, and she catches her breath unexpectedly.”

“feel” should be “feels”

“She never breaks eye contact as she works one cloth him, and a second on herself.”

There’s an “on” missing before “him”.

“she sets up pillows and undresses for bed, urging ChoCho to so the same.”

“so” should be “do”